I have been in Cornwall and then London for over two weeks now, first on my R&R and then on annual leave. I was due to fly back to Juba today, but this is all on hold now due to the fierce fighting that has broken out in the capital city.
After a frenzied week last week, looking at apartments and making offers, everything came to a head on Friday with armed conflict having broken out in Juba on Thursday evening. Slowly various messages came through on WhatsApp and it became apparent that this time it was more than just some tit for tat exchanges of gunfire. A US embassy convoy was shot at, as was a senior UN official, the country director for UNESCO. All ugly developments.
I found myself feeling really quite on edge and at times overcome with emotion. You find yourself walking around London in the sun, in peace, safe, and yet a community you know is under fire. Friends are lying on the floors of their offices, staying away from the windows, and praying that they do not become the victim of a stray bullet or mortar. I could not imagine. So, you try to ignore the messages, to shut things out, but at the same time you just want to know what is going on. I quickly retracted myself from the house purchase.
In the greater scheme of things it is just sad. I have been working in South Sudan for six months now. I have seen very little of the country and I move just between my office and my residence and between the various expat restaurants and hotels. Occasionally I get to sit by the Nile. But I try to follow what is happening politically and I am ever optimistic that the future will be better. It was exciting when the Vice President returned in April as part of the peace agreement, many said he would never come back to Juba.
So, the recent outbreak of violence, though expected by many, is just disappointing. I get the impression it is going to take a very robust process to move people forward in a fashion that allows them to reconcile the past. This part of the world has been at war for so long, first as part of the Sudan and now as the Republic of South Sudan. The collective trauma must run very deep.
On a micro level, I just want my friends to stay safe. I feel so lucky I am where I am right now, but also feel very helpless. I hope the tanks and soldiers leave the streets and people return to the bars and to sitting around smoking shisha late into the night. The fruit sellers return to their stalls and the boda bodas (motorcycle taxis) take up their positions on the side of the roads once again.
Until then I am sending all my thoughts to East Africa and to a place that is currently my home.